As required by recent world events, I’ve spent a significant amount of time looking at the four walls that make up my bedroom as well as the interior of my house. 

I went through a period where I would do nothing for hours and just stare at the walls, not focusing on a particular point…just dissociating and losing time. 

My mom told me quite a while ago that I could fix up my room from how it had been since my younger years, but I never took her up on that offer. I was happy to see relics of nostalgia and the little tchotchkes that I added while I grew up. 

But simply looking at those walls for about 10 hours a day does not compare to forced confinement, as I stare at unchanging relics and reflect on times of freedom and joy.

I started to go stir crazy and then remembered that I could redecorate with the help of an exasperated mom. A long-dulled ember suddenly flared into a bonfire that rivaled the Comcast building as I began to think of ideas and themes for my room. 

I settled on a purple and green color theme representing love and creativity, and chose dark wooden furniture to complement the paint. With a roller brush in hand and several bins of things to donate, I started to paint my room in a beautiful, medium-tone mauve on three walls and forest green on the fourth. 

My furniture matured my room and reflected my style while maintaining a soothing effect.

While my room matured, my character, habits and outlook on life had not. I still procrastinated. I still allowed myself to be ruled by not-so-happy thoughts. I still allowed myself to wallow in self-pity. 

My attitude had not changed, and so the four white walls were simply decorated points of interest for my dissociation. 

After this realization, I began to journal, watch TED talks and meditate. My committed mindfulness and inner reflection are slowly and actively improving my outlook on life. 

Nowadays, those three purple walls are there as a reminder of times of complacency and static contemplation. This now serves as fuel for forward movement and dynamic improvement.