Bizarre weather patterns cause confusion
Although it’s still technically winter, I have found that the biggest challenge I face every day is what to wear. The weather is the sole basis of my outfit each morning, so it’s pretty important.
Many questions enter my mind, such as: How many layers do I wear? Do I wear my light jacket or my big winter coat? I can’t even trust the all-knowing Siri to tell me the weather anymore, because it will probably change during the two minutes it takes me to ride the elevator to the lobby of my building. The weather forecast will call for warm temperatures, so I don’t bring my jacket, but then the wind cools the air to a wintery chill, sending shivers down my spine. When it’s supposed to be cold all day, I bundle myself up in a puffy coat, hat, and scarf, all of which cause me to overheat on my short walk to class. I usually end up in a sweat-drenched outfit and lack of participation in said class, because I don’t want to lift my arm and reveal the puddles that have soaked through my shirt.
On the rare occasion that the forecast is correct, and remains consistent throughout the day, Category Five hurricane winds legitimately threaten to knock me over. I have to leave for my classes 10 minutes early because the wind hinders my walking, making it feel as if I’m pulling a cart full of people up a steep hill. I can’t even go near Villiger Hall anymore out of fear that I will get sucked into “the Vortex,” never to return.
People must think I have suffered a terrible breakup because when I finally arrive to class, my eyes are watering; my mascara running; and my hair is in a giant knot. Last week, the wind was so intense that not only did I almost fall over, but my tears traveled horizontally and backwards across my face.
Mother Nature, we’re all wondering, what is up with you lately? You gift us with one snow day, then melt it all away the next. You tempt us with your sweet, glowing sunlight, yet shower it with rain as soon as we start to enjoy it. You can’t even stick to the right season. Newsflash: winter is cold. Yet, I wore shorts last week. It is February. I haven’t completed a full rotation of my cute winter clothes yet, therefore it is not time for spring.
I want warm weather as much as the next person, but if you’re going to make it a warm day, please commit. All this unreliable weather is all the more reason why I don’t want to leave the comfort and coziness of my bed, so thank you for adding to my loneliness.
