Death, taxes and grief – perhaps the only universal experiences in this world. “All of Us Strangers” follows Adam, played by Andrew Scott, who is a screenwriter in his mid-40s living in London and has spent the majority of his life coming to terms with the loss of his mother and father, who died in a car crash when he was a preteen. When he visits his childhood home for the first time since the accident, he finds the ghosts of his parents, played by Claire Foy and Jamie Bell, frozen in time as they were before the tragedy.
Adam is given the chance to get to know his parents as an adult and make up for the time that he lost with them. He has a drink with his parents on the first night that he returns to the house in celebration of the impossible situation as they tell him they are proud that he is doing well for himself. At the same time in his life, Adam begins a relationship with Harry, portrayed by Paul Mescal, one of the only other tenants in his apartment building.
Rather than following a linear story, the film has a hazy feel about it that leaves some parts of the timeline up to the viewer’s interpretation. It is almost as if you are experiencing it as a dream rather than in a movie theater. The soft angles, bright colors and creative overhead shots contribute to this feeling. The movie draws on feelings of nostalgia, and, along with the music and costumes used, director Andrew Haigh accomplishes this by using his own childhood home as a prop, using it to shoot Adam’s scenes with his parents.
Scott and Mescal have exciting chemistry, and their characters serve as foils for each other. Adam is reserved and quiet and carries trauma from experiencing the AIDS crisis as a child who was just discovering that he was gay at the time. Harry, on the other hand, is an outgoing, physically affectionate younger man who, despite his unreserved exterior, grapples with feeling like an outsider in his family due to his sexuality. As Adam gets the closure with his parents that he’s been craving for decades, he’s slowly able to open himself up to a real relationship with Harry. And by finally experiencing love in one form, he is able to accept it in another.
While Adam and Harry’s relationship has been the movie’s selling point, the story of familial love takes center stage. The idea of a 46-year-old man reverting to his childhood self when he’s around his parents for the first time in years may sound strange, but the vulnerability and pensiveness that Scott brings to the role sells it and makes scenes, like decorating a Christmas tree with his parents and breaking down while talking to his dad, seem not only appropriate but also necessary.
Adam’s mother and father are parents of a past time. They struggle to make sense of their son’s life but do their best to understand. When Adam tells his mom that he’s gay, she responds negatively, citing the societal discrimination that she assumes he faces and the AIDS crisis that she does not realize is now under control. Adam reassures her that he lives in a more accepting world than the one she knew, but the struggles that still come with being gay are alluded to. This scene may hit home for a lot of queer people; while parents don’t always mean harm, they may respond with the viewpoints they formed when they were young, and I felt a familiar pang in my chest as I watched this scene in the theater. How many of us heard a similar version of Adam’s mom worriedly responding with, “They say it’s a very lonely kind of life,” after he comes out to her?
At its core, “All of Us Strangers” is a testament to love’s ability and will to transcend even death. The heartbreaking beauty of the film will shatter viewers in a strange way that almost feels comforting. It just punched you in the gut, but then gets you an ice pack and tells you to lay down for a bit, leaving the taste of bittersweet catharsis in your mouth.
