Dealing with reverse culture shock after a semester abroad

There are questions I’ve been routinely asked each time I run into someone after coming back from my semester abroad in Galway, Ireland.

People will say “It looked like you had such a great time!” and then proceed to ask “What was your favorite part?” or “Are you happy to be back?”

My answers to these kinds of comments are “yes,” “I don’t know” and “not necessarily.”

Everyone who has gone abroad talks about how it is difficult to pick up and leave your university, friends and family to go to a foreign country for four months.

They talk about how you feel strange and unsettled for a couple of weeks before you finally get acclimated to your new environment. They talk about how the experience is unlike anything else they’ve ever done and how it was the most amazing time of their life.

But no one tells you what happens next.

When I returned from my semester abroad, I was excited to be back to the familiarity of home and to be reunited with my friends and family who I missed so much. I was ready to get back to my friends at St. Joe’s,  schoolwork and Philadelphia, where life is more vibrant and inspired. I was ready to get back to the place I call my second home.

It wasn’t until classes started, though, that I realized that this campus didn’t feel like home anymore.

Was it the addition of Saxbys? The move of the package center to Lafarge Residence Center? The newly knocked down wall connecting Starbucks to the bookstore?

While those changes were monumental and should not have taken place without my permission, they aren’t the reason I’m so unsettled.

It’s difficult to nail down a reason as to why I feel so disconnected, but I guess it’s the fact that life went on in my absence.

Can you believe it? I’m as shocked and appalled as you are.

I thought I was ready to get back into the groove of being busy with responsibilities after spending my fall semester going to pubs and traipsing around Europe. Yes, they are equally valuable experiences, but I was excited to settle back into a routine.

I was wrong again. I’ve never been so unmotivated in my life. During syllabus week, I was already overwhelmed despite the miniscule amount of work I had to do.

It wasn’t until Thursday of the first week of classes that I really was finally able to admit to myself how miserable I am. I don’t want to do anything, but I also don’t want to do nothing. Does that make sense? No. I’m depressed and there’s nothing I can do to fix it.

I have no obvious reason to be so unhappy. I just spent four months living and learning in one of the most beautiful countries in the world. Now I’m back at what I’ve always considered to be my favorite place.

This might be the most pretentious type of depression out there, which is why I didn’t want to talk about it with anyone. How could my friends who did not have the same experience as me understand what I’m feeling when I hardly understand it myself?

I felt very alone in my feelings until I talked to friends who are coming back from their own semesters abroad. People who studied abroad in prior years said that the semester after being abroad was the worst they’d ever had. They conveniently leave that out in the brochures.

While the Center for International Programs (CIP) was helpful in preparing us for what we were going to be feeling when we left the U.S. for our respective strange lands, they did nothing to prepare us for what was waiting at home.

The only piece of literature I received that mentioned returning from a semester abroad was the off-campus newsletter that was forwarded to me by a friend.

Reading this letter was the first time I encountered the term reverse culture shock, defined as the emotional and psychological distress suffered by some people who spend an extended period of time in a different country.

I’m not the same person I was before I left and neither are the people I left behind. It’s hard to figure out where I fit in here and I have a feeling I’ll be trying to figure that out for a while.

It’s not CIP’s job to hold my hand in my readjustment back to St. Joe’s; however, I don’t think an email about best practices and resources in dealing with reverse culture shock is too much to ask for.

Other schools such as Marquette University continue to communicate with students who studied abroad after they return to campus, offering programs and advice on transitioning back.

We don’t even have a section on the CIP website for returning to campus, only for leaving St. Joe’s. The CIP needs to take better care for their students once they return to Hawk Hill rather than exclusively before their departure.

I had the time of my life last semester and I know I’ll find myself again here. I just need help.