Redefining success to cope with self-doubt

Whether you’re a student, on social media or have a job, you’ve likely come face to face with the crippling self-doubt known as imposter syndrome.

Psychology Today defines imposter syndrome as “a psychological phenomenon in which people are unable to internalize their own accomplishments.”

There’s no way to tell if someone is going through this, but I think it’s safe to say that many young people have experienced imposter syndrome at some point.

If you’re one of the lucky few who hasn’t experienced imposter syndrome, it feels like one minute you’re fully capable, and the next you become a fraud in your own mind.

You can have every award and recognition in the world and still feel like there’s someone out there who is more deserving than you.

The strangest part about this phenomenon is that when you experience success, you feel like there’s been a mistake. When you’re congratulated for an achievement—even when you know how much hard work has gone into it— you somehow feel unworthy.

When it comes to measurable benchmarks like awards and class rankings, satisfaction is hardly ever constant. Images in popular culture paint pictures of success in two very different ways: one being the rich man climbing his way up the corporate ladder, and the second being someone who came from humble beginnings and stumbled into the spotlight.

Our generation is consumed by the unhealthy assumption that overexerting ourselves to complete a task will guarantee rewarding results. Imposter syndrome is by no means a medical diagnosis, but the root of it can definitely take a toll on mental health.

In my own experience, I’ve found that I frequently disregard my own successes. To combat these moments of self-doubt, I tend to overwork myself to the point of isolation.

I often see my friends studying for days on end, and they receive that nearly perfect score on an exam. Congratulating their achievement is usually followed by “thanks, but I could’ve done X or Y, better to get Z.” This is the kind of mentality that needs to change.

I realize that I am contradicting myself when I say that this mentality also needs to be normalized. It’s just as important to cultivate a common ground where people can talk about their inner dialogue with their peers so that they feel less alone in their experience.

I still haven’t arrived at a point where I’ve fully come to terms with my accomplishments, but I’m getting there. It has been a journey that has forced me to accept the things that I’m uncomfortable with, such as receiving validation.

Whether I like it or not, feeling validated is often needed in order to get perspective, and that’s perfectly okay.

The hardest part about “finding yourself” when you live in a bubble is recognizing that you need to break out of that bubble.

Redefining success on our own terms is easier said than done, especially when there’s so much noise coming at us from every direction. I’ve realized that comparison is the enemy of progress, meaning that success is not at all linear.

Despite the fact that there will always be someone more skilled and accomplished than me, I find comfort in knowing that no one can ever live my life better than I can.

I’m still navigating my own journey with imposter syndrome, but I’ve come to realize the importance of taking pride in little victories.

I recently stumbled upon a YouTube video by a woman named Miss Varz, a student at Oxford University (and roommate of Nobel Peace Prize Winner Malala Yousafzai) titled “Having imposter syndrome at university.”

Throughout the video, she recalled feeling like she didn’t belong at Oxford when she arrived. Although she deserved to be there as much as everyone around her, imposter syndrome prevented her from doing things solely because she didn’t accept the accomplishments that brought her there.

At the end of the day, it’s important to remind ourselves that we have to be our own advocate in order to be satisfied with wherever our paths take us. After all, someone could be a student at the most prestigious academic institution in the world and still doubt themselves.

Celebrating the challenges we’ve faced can push us to accomplish so much more than what we think we’re capable of. You just might surprise yourself if you try.