Well, the time has finally come for the Class of 2023 to fly the coop. The idea of “hawkmates” that was drilled into our thoughts since orientation in 2019 comes to mind as we prepare to leave.
When I look back at freshman year, I think about how often the ideas of hawkmates circled around conversations everywhere on campus. There was the constant speculation of whether or not the cute person that we met or seemed to see everywhere was the one for us; thanks to the idea of hoping to find a “hawkmate” to leave St. Joe’s with.
But, hawkmates might look a little different now if you’re anything like me. Maybe a hawkmate isn’t a person we are meant to spend the rest of our lives with who we met on campus. A hawkmate might be your best friends you met somewhere along the way within your four years. And in that sense, I have found mine. But a romantic hawkmate relationship might not always be on campus. They might be anywhere in the world, which is why I feel the pressure to find a relationship in college is unnecessary.
If I could go back in time to be a freshman again, I would do it in a heartbeat for a list of reasons. One of the most important, though, is how I wish I didn’t spend so much time looking for “the one.” I’m sure that there is a “one” for everyone, but they might not exist solely at St. Joe’s. In this part of our lives as students, we are a speck of sand on a beach of life, and all of our questions don’t need to be answered just yet. We all have to trust the process that our person will find us, rather than searching for them.
Personally, I feel as though hawkmates are a rare find at a university, especially one as small as St. Joe’s. I don’t want to sound as though I believe that relationships formed as undergrads won’t last, because I am sure many will. But, I feel it is rare to even begin a relationship at a small school without the use of dating apps or having a wide social circle. If you choose to opt-out of both of those options, finding a person for you might be more difficult, but it will also be just as special.
As incoming first-year students, I think we are pressured into this idea that we are going to find the love of our life at some point in our college career. I could sit here and lie and say that this was something that I never thought about, but the hope of finding my future husband haunted me as someone who was just starting out. Everywhere that I turned, I thought that my “hawkmate” was just around a corner in the Campion Dining Hall. But four years and a pandemic later, I’m still single with my focus now set on my career and not much as finding my forever person, especially within a specific time or place. If I play my cards right, maybe the near future will hold my future hawkmate wrapped in wax paper.
