Society enables R. Kelly and that needs to stop
When the Lifetime docuseries “Surviving R. Kelly” premiered on Jan. 3, I was already familiar with the sexual misconduct and abuse allegations lauded against the singer for the entirety of his career.
From his mysterious relationship with young R&B singer Aaliyah Haughton, to the infamous sex tape and the most recent allegations of a sex cult in his Atlanta home, I thought I knew all there was to know about R. Kelly.
Unfortunately, what I knew only scratched the surface of the trauma those women experienced at the hands of Kelly.
Although the documentary chronicles the singer’s years of abuse and sexual misconduct with minors, the docuseries is about the survivors.
Countless numbers of black women have come forward sharing the awful details about the abuse they endured at the whim of Kelly over the years.
In the docuseries, we learn that Kelly has had trouble reading and writing his entire life. His level of illiteracy, his need for assistance, underscores a key point the docuseries makes, Kelly couldn’t abuse all of these women without help. His tour manager helped Kelly forge documents to acquire a marriage license for Kelly and Aaliyah in 1994.
His tour manager, security and any other friends he had around him would assist Kelly in scouting out girls at malls in the cities he visited on tour, inviting them back to his hotel and tour bus.
Abuse of this magnitude could not and cannot continue to happen without a network of people willing to look the other way, ignoring the blatant abuse of black women and girls.
This is a network of people who allow and enable a man with fame, money and power to continue to harm women and girls for years despite the glaring evidence.
Kelly didn’t just prey on and take advantage of minors, namely the 14-year-old girl featured in the infamous sex tape. He abused and manipulated girls and women from age 14 to 35. He abused his wife Andrea Lee for years, frequently locking her in their home and keeping her from the young girls and the allegations.
The most devastating part of the docuseries for me was the most recent allegations of Kelly as the ringleader of a sex “cult,” which keeps young women from speaking or seeing their families for years on end.
In the fifth episode, Michelle Gardner is reunited with her daughter Dominique Gardner, who she hadn’t seen or heard from in years, and helps her escape.
His acquittal in the child sex tape scandal was a failing of the American people. Because of the acquittal, Kelly was made to feel invincible, like he would never be caught even with video evidence.
Despite the Chicago Sun-Times’ reporting in 2000, and Buzzfeed News’ article about the cult, Kelly continues to evade any legal and social accountability.
This may be due to how we as a society continue to excuse abusers because of their art, or because we don’t believe victims especially when they’re black women.
Though Kelly is facing much more scrutiny now, scrutiny which led to him being dropped by Sony Music and RCA Records, his abuse of young black women and girls won’t stop just because of this docuseries.
We have to continue to #MuteRKelly and elevate the voices of survivors and make conscious efforts to show that abusers must be held accountable—separating the art from the artist is counterproductive.
By supporting abusers like R. Kelly with streams, we are giving him money and by supporting him financially, we are contributing to his ability to continue abusing young women and girls.
So the next time you think about stepping in the name of love, or want to play “Ignition (Remix),” I hope you decide against it.
