Hello Hawks, new and old! Whether it’s college, work or personal life, learning the do’s and don’ts of writing an email will be the greatest and most essential lesson you’ll ever learn.

DO: Have an awesome email address. Nobody, especially professors, ever wants to talk to a total dweeb. If your email is something boring like “[email protected],” no one will want to talk to you, much less hire you. That’s why I always recommend including cool phrases, random letters and numbers to really spice up your email game. Something like “[email protected]” is much more appealing.

DON’T: Forget a warm greeting. You should always begin any email with an appropriate greeting and friendly conversation starter. For professors and other superiors, I recommend looking them up on social media. If they have a family, maybe you can begin the email by asking about their kids. For example, “How was Timmy’s soccer game yesterday?” This way, you seem friendly and interested in their life.

DO: Keep everything ambiguous and confusing. For example, if you’re scheduling an interview, don’t give multiple times and possibilities to meet. Instead, you should give one exact time that you are free, but only for a 12-minute window. It makes you seem important. Don’t use a subject line either, as doing so will remove any element of mystery.

DON’T: Put anyone on a pedestal. Professors and academics hate it when they get treated differently. Make sure you talk to anyone with a Ph.D. like they’re anybody else. If your professor’s name is Dr. Linda Smith, Ph.D., just call her Lin. She’ll really appreciate the fun nickname and feeling normal for a change.

DO: Forget about “BCC” or “CC” or CDC, or whatever. It’s just confusing, and no one knows what those things actually do.

DON’T: Let them forget about you. When waiting for a response, give the recipient at least 24 to 48 minutes to respond. People really appreciate reminders and follow up emails in case they forget, so be sure to follow up as soon as possible.

DO: Embellish your credentials. Ever notice how at the end of important peoples’ emails it always says these really awesome positions like, “Professor, Department of Accounting” or “Director of Community Standards” or “Chief of Philadelphia Police?” Fun fact: you can write whatever you want down there. It doesn’t have to be true.

DON’T: Sign off with “Love You, [NAME].” It will be super “embarrassing” for everyone, apparently. My bad, dr. bhayroo.