“Groped.”
“Forced.”
“Touched.”
“Grabbed.”
“She probably deserved it.”
This language is all too familiar to women.
In a country that preaches being safe, free, independent and equal, why is it that one in every four women has experienced attempted or completed rape? Why is it that over 430,000 Americans every year are sexually assaulted or raped, with 90% being women? And why do we always blame the women when they are?
When an online trend asked women to choose if they’d rather be stuck in the woods with “a bear or a man,” women often chose the bear. This is because one mantra women are fed regarding sexual assault consists of three of the most infuriating words: “To remain aware.”
To be a woman in the United States means always being “aware” of your surroundings. To be a woman in the United States means your case will probably be ignored if you choose to come forward. To be a woman in the United States means your assaulter could still be out there. At least a bear wouldn’t tell a woman to just “remain aware.”
It’s simple enough: being “aware” of your surroundings doesn’t do shit. You are always “aware,” but that doesn’t mean you are safe. And even if a woman is vigilant, is she permitted to talk about her assault? No. When we see a statistic on how many women are sexually assaulted each year, we ask ourselves why these women didn’t come forward. This is because society responds by telling them they deserved it. That the assault was somehow their fault because of how they looked or what they wore.
Sexual assault is not a woman’s shame to carry — it is our nation’s. The next time you see a poll that explains why many women prefer the bear over the man, take a second and wonder why. There is no correct way in society to be a woman, but what we need to remember is how much stronger we are when we’re united. It’s time we stop teaching women to be vigilant and start teaching society to stop excusing violence.
Members of the St. Joe’s community seeking support are encouraged to contact the following resources:
Counseling and Psychological Services (CAPS), 610-660-1090
Campus Ministry, 610-660-1030
The Office of Student Outreach & Support, 610-660-1149
The Jesuit community, 610-660-1400
Employee Assistance Program, 866-799-2728
