The only thing better than making plans with your friends is canceling those very plans at the last minute. Here is a comprehensive list for how to maximize the dopamine of making plans, while minimizing the amount of time spent outside of your house.

The Sleeper: No one can be mad because of a nap that just lasted too long. When your friends text you to ask where you are, just don’t answer! No matter how many times they text or call, it doesn’t matter. Then, after enough time has passed to ensure those plans won’t involve you anymore, go ahead and respond that you accidentally fell asleep. Are they going to be mad you got some much-needed rest? Now who’s the bad guy?

The Patient: Here’s one that will get you out of almost any plans. You’re sick! Your head hurts, your stomach hurts, everything hurts! You can barely get out of bed. You might even be contagious! Post-pandemic, this is an instant get-out-of-plans free card, as long as your friends aren’t Republican. You even get some pity points with this method and have a chance at scoring some free soup. Use it wisely though, since this method can only be used so many times before it’s clear you’re either lying or going to die very soon. Bonus points for anyone who can use period cramps as an excuse. Though, for my non menstruating friends, that will warrant some strange responses.

The Griever: This one is great not only for canceling plans, but also for getting out of work and any last-minute assignments you forgot to do. Someone died! It’s that easy, though it is important to keep track of which family members you’ve killed off. You can only have so many grandmas die before it becomes suspicious. And, don’t say your roommate died! The school tracks that, and it will be really embarrassing for you and pretty hard to explain.

The Haunted: The only thing worse than a loved one dying is a loved one that comes back from the dead to haunt you because of an ancient curse that was placed on your ancestors! Maybe even text your friends pretending to be possessed by your dead loved one for extra believability. It is important not to use this on any religious or ghost-hunting friends.

The Fugitive: You can’t be seen in public because you have been placed in witness protection. Your new name is Francois Balue, and the police are constantly monitoring your premises. Maybe next week!

The Hater: Just tell your friends you hate them and hate spending time with them. You’ll never have to see them again! This is a one-time-use excuse.