When I was 18, I was formally diagnosed with ADHD. This was something my parents and I suspected beforehand, but since I did well in school, the diagnosis wasn’t something we thought to pursue before college. However, what we did not realize is, attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder is responsible for so much more than just inattention and restlessness; there are a number of disorders connected to ADHD, many of which are more detrimental than the traits most commonly associated with the neurotype.

One such disorder is rejection sensitivity dysphoria, an intense emotional reaction to rejection, criticism and disapproval. Those afflicted with RSD are often easily embarrassed, have low self-esteem and “people please” to avoid disappointing others. RSD can also lead to intense bouts of depression, as emotions can be too intense to comprehend or communicate, ultimately drowning individuals in shame, guilt and sadness that’s not easily shaken.

RSD is debilitating. I walk across campus in fear, constantly terrified of others forming negative conclusions about me. I avoid participating in class unless I am completely sure of myself, as there is nothing worse than the thought of being corrected in front of my peers. Even reaching out to friends to make plans is challenging; any reply other than ‘Yes’ feels like a personal attack, reinforcing my belief that I am not worthy of having relationships.

While my ADHD symptoms can be mitigated by medication, there is not a pill that fixes RSD. My sense of self will always be warped. I will continue to expect that those around me are disappointed, and there will always be days that I cannot get out of bed due to social concerns. Yet, I have found that through communication, the symptoms of RSD can be mitigated. Those who truly care about you will understand and respond accordingly to your emotional differences, and those who don’t will discard your words and watch as you decline. As hard as that rejection may be, those who choose to stay serve as a much-needed reminder that you are worth more than you know.