The need to diversify friend groups
People have a culturally infused disposition to form friendships with those that are of the same race. Diversity’s deprived existence within these friend groups prompts racial ignorance to inevitably trigger unintentional racism, which hurts our society’s potential to truly progress and move forward as one.
Before diving further into this issue, I want to point out that having a diverse group of friends is simply a starting point in the quest to be enlightened on racial matters. It doesn’t suddenly turn you into a superior person with infallible qualities. It can actually have the opposite effect. Jay Smooth, a cultural and political commentator, gave a TED Talk explaining how discomfort plays a role in race conversations.
“We often take our ability to avoid race conversations and use it as a measure of our progress and enlightenment,” Smooth said. “I think that is telling in and of itself.”
Even people that surround themselves with a diverse landscape refuse to talk about race because they view it as a non-necessity and/or an uncomfortable topic. This makes conversations difficult when someone has a potentially racist slip-up. Painfully normal reactions to those being confronted in such situations are those of complete and utter denial. After all, how can somebody possibly say something racist if they are in fact not a racist? Smooth explains how a natural reaction to criticism is applied to racism.
“When the possibility arises that we made a mistake, we are usually able to take a few deep breaths and tell ourselves we’re only human, everyone makes mistakes,” Smooth explained. “But when it comes to conversations involving race and prejudice, for some reason, we tend to make the opposite assumption. We deal with race or prejudice with this all-or-nothing good person, bad person binary in which you either are racist or you are not racist.”
Our society’s unwillingness to discuss race and diversify friend groups are concepts that go hand-in-hand. Based on our comfort levels, we are not inclined to entertain either thought. This idea is not linked in our DNA; it is a cultural phenomenon. Aaron Smith, Ph.D., professor of African-American studies at Temple University, gets to the root of the problem.
“It is a result of racial xenophobia and historical realities such as segregation,” Smith said. “Our dark history in the United States is a leading contributor to fear of difference and the inability to embrace other people.”
Therefore, to understand and embrace other people, we need to diversify our friendship networks. Even in modern times, we’ve separated each other by race through de facto segregation.
Camille Charles, Ph.D., professor of sociology and director of Africana studies and education at the University of Pennsylvania, offers more knowledge as to why it is important to have diverse surroundings.
“A diverse friendship network is important for the same reasons that diverse classrooms, neighborhoods and workplaces are: they open people up to different perspectives, and often lead to better innovation and productivity,” Charles said. “People with these experiences have more to offer in the way of critical thinking and problem solving, and, as individual citizens, diversity can lead to more compassion and empathy.”
A lack of diversity within friend groups has far greater consequences than accidentally saying something racist. It leaks into the job market where an employer could potentially pick candidates who have similar skin tones to that of themselves over those who are different. An employer would most likely make these decisions based off their immediate comfort levels espoused during the interview process.
Does this make the boss racist? Not necessarily, but it does make the action racist. This circumstance is largely why our society needs to have diverse networks. It allows us to say the right thing, do the right thing and make decisions with less cultural bias. Smith further elaborates on how our lack of diversity is halting our societal progression.
“It is the true tragedy of our society,” Smith said. “Fear supersedes the necessity of progression.”
People often believe that a diverse friend network is something they should have but refuse to make it their reality. Charles suggests that certain people may not be aware that their newly formed friend groups are incredibly similar to the ones they had before.
“There is a tendency to either/both 1: believe that diversity should come to them so to speak, meaning that the ones consciously or unconsciously placed on others to provide diversity, and/or 2: often we say we want things but we don’t do the work necessary to get whatever it is we claim to want,” Charles said.
The desire to have a diverse friend group shows pure potential. Actually pursuing one will lead to our society’s progress and movement as a whole.