Expressing sexuality in a safe way

Growing up, many of us were  taught that a woman’s sexuality is a taboo subject. Men are considered sexual in nature. There is a preconceived notion that men hit their sexual prime earlier than women, but according to a Women’s Health article, “The Truth About Your Sexual Peak, “women actually report having the ‘best sex’ of their lives around age 26, while for men, it’s age 32.”

These thoughts, that sexuality in women  is nonexistent, are further perpetuated as we become more aware of sexuality in high school. I am here to  dispel that idiotic notion and tell you that women, especially college-aged ones, want to express their sexuality just as much as our male counterparts. And just like our male counterparts, women may want to have multiple partners. Who knew?

Why are women looked down upon for doing the same things as men? What is a hoe, but a long-handled gardening tool?

If men don’t call  their male friends “hoes” after talking with them about their sexcapades, why would  we do this to women?

Maybe this all derives from how women’s bodies are sexualized.

We, as a society, have a problem with the hypersexualization of women. For example, the “patriarchal gaze,” also known as the “male gaze”,  is how media perpetuates heterosexual and masculine sexual ideals when presenting women as objects and is the worst thing media uses when perceiving the female form. The “patriarchal gaze” is why young people see a woman’s body as the most sexual thing in the world. I always want to yell at men who stare at mine and my friend’s bodies and say “they are just boobs, you never seen them.”  Well, there is a thing called Google. Women’s nipples are always blurred or covered, while men are free to show theirs off as if it’s not the same piece of pointed flesh on both bodies, but I digress.

This isn’t all about the lack of equality between women and men, but more about women saying “fuck it” and doing what they want to do. Go on Tinder and swipe on all they guys you think are cute, it’s alright. If you want to casually date someone, do that. Don’t worry what anyone thinks of you. Who cares if your religious roommate looks down on you. If you feel good about yourself, keep going out.

The only thing you have to do is be safe. Safety should be the first thing you think of when you plan on doing something “wild.” There is nothing wrong with gloating about your escapades, ladies. As I have told my friends “let your freak flag fly, but safely.” There is no reason why ladies should be forced to be reserved if they don’t want to be.

Of course, there is nothing wrong with being  reserved.  All  I ask for is that we, as ladies, become happy in our own skin, whichever way that may be.

To do this we, and I mean us ladies in particular, have to stop slut shaming. If we were to stop slut shaming one another, I believe our male counterparts would think twice before doing it as well. Women need to stick together no matter what. 

At the end of the day, women need to do what makes them feel happy. Your own happiness is what matters the most, not others’ perceptions of you.