When subtle sexism affects the game 

From as early as I can remember, sports and competition have been the two most important aspects of my life. I come from a large family of athletes, my paternal grandfather was a professional football player and all six of his children have played Division I football. 

Although all of us are proud of our athletic lineage, I am one of the few that athletics significantly defined. 

Being a “tomboy” was natural to me. I had a predisposition to activities that are stereotypically categorized as “boyish.” It just so happened that I preferred playing sports to ballet. I played all types of sports growing up and I loved it. 

I was proud when I would beat boys in races, soccer, kickball, etc. All throughout elementary school I would compete against the boys, typically being the only girl to do so, rather than play four square or tag.

It was not until middle school that I really became cognizant of the negative connotations that go along with being an athletic girl. I honestly do not think I was ever directly insulted for being athletic in middle school. However, jokes were made at the expense of collegiate women basketball players and softball players. People always joked that female players were “dudes” and that a majority were lesbians. 

While I did not play softball, I did play basketball. I shamefully remember laughing along. In hindsight, I realize it was not out of cruelty, but out of an attempt to blow it off and not allow it to hurt me. 

I specifically remember a situation in eighth grade where I told a boy that even though I was good at basketball, I would never play in college because “I’m not a guy.”

The saddest part of that story is that I wanted to play collegiate basketball at the time. I did not want to be perceived as manly all because I wanted someone to like me. This time period was definitely the lowest my self-esteem has ever been. But I did not let that deter me from playing sports.

A breakthrough for my ego came in the ninth grade when I was recruited by Division I lacrosse programs. By the time I was 16, I was committed to St. Joe’s. It gave me the validation I never knew I needed. I was finally rewarded for my years of dedication and hard work, while also normalizing my “manly” features such as my height and musculature. After this, I was able to fully embraced my athleticism.

Now that I am a collegiate athlete, I have realized that the stigma regarding women in athletics is ever present. 

Luckily, unlike my middle school self, I am no longer phased. 

In my personal experience I have found that the majority of naysayers are those without friends who are women athletes. From afar, they automatically attribute unwarranted characteristics to us without ever knowing us. Simply put, it would do more good for the world if everyone would reserve judgement prior to getting to know someone.